Well, besides being bitten on the leg by one of my 20-month charges yesterday, I am feeling okay about life today. I have begun meditating and praying for a few minutes, first thing each morning as I used to and it has definitely made a difference in how my day progresses (or at least how I deal with how it progresses). I know, if you've been keeping up with my blog, things may have sounded depressing to you! Well, not to us! We feel blessed beyond imagining.
God continues to sustain and maintain us. He provides for our physical and financial needs daily and for our spiritual needs -- every single microsecond of the day! We have grown to be different people than we would have been without our past 2-year journey. We are 100% dependent upon God for every aspect of our lives. Our marriage is so strong -- stronger than it ever has been in the past 30 years. I know it seems odd . . . but like I said, God is working in us and making us more like Him every day.
Oh, there have been many days I felt that surely I was shiny enough and needed/could withstand no more time in the refiner's fire! And I suspect there will be more! And while I don't recommend being underemployed (and so sliding from "upper middle class" to "lower middle class" in the course of a few short months, it has been how we have grown as human beings and especially as Christians.
We have a heart for the world like we never imagined we could and are thankful that we've known how to "do frugual" our whole lives--long, long before it became "in"! We haven't always necessarily lived that way -- but we've known how to!
I am "taking inventory" of my life and while the process is somewhat less painful as I journey through it, it is certainly not fun. My goal is to evaluate everything in terms of what if . . . and go from there. What if . . . I had to pick 10 things I could keep and lose all the rest - what items would they be? What if . . . I had 5 years to live - what would I hope to accomplish before I died? What if . . . well, I think you get the point. It's easier to do the what if's for things and goals than for people, though.
What if . . . I could only have 5 friends in the whole world - who would they be? Why? That one is tough. Anyway, that's where I am today. I'm off in a few minutes for an annual check up (a "new" habit I'm forming as part of my "I must take care of myself to accomplish all my 'what if' goals!"). Also, I am a child of God, fearfully and wonderfully made and I need to value what He has created:-)
Blessings this week: routine mammogram revealed no obvious problems; I am not sick any more(yay!), I have been eating healthfully since I was ill and am getting used to what my body feels like when I ingest fruits and whole wheat vs. refined sugar and white flour in mass quantities; my children are happy and healthy; God is in heaven; Jesus died for me.
For I am sure that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. [Romans 8:38-39]