Here's the thing: I am so very busted! You see, I have been focusing only on "poor me." Two friends have spoken wisdom into my heart and mind in the last month. Yesterday morning when I woke up, I had understanding of what God wanted me know and understand through their words. And it isn't pretty!
"Job says, 'I am innocent, but God denies me justice. Although I am right, I am considered a liar; although I am guiltless, his arrow inflicts an incurable wound.' What man is like Job, who drinks scorn like water? To his sin he adds rebellion; scornfully he claps his hands among us and multiplies his words against God" (Job 34:5-7; 37 NIV).
It is profoundly humbling when one realizes the depth and breadth of one's own sin. Throughout my day yesterday I lifted prayers seeking forgiveness for how I have allowed sin to be manifested in my life. Alternately I lifted prayers of gratitude. Gratitude for friends who have courage to lovingly correct and admonish me; gratitude most of all that God would even bother with one such as me--who has drunk "scorn like water; who is rebellious and multiplies words against God."
I have declared 2010 to be a year of JOY! God's abundant grace is truly reason to be joyful! I have my work cut out for me!
Blessings on your journey