Pray. That's it: just pray.

I'm known in some circles as a prayer warrior. Admittedly of late I have been remiss in my prayer efforts. I've been pretty focused on me - and my efforts to keep the world spinning on its axis. I've been busy telling God what I need/want/should have. It's a shameful thing to admit, but transparency is essential if we are to minister to others.

I have just felt so overwhelmed lately, and I have been very anxious --about many things. Dictionary.com defines anxious as: full of mental distress or uneasiness because of fear of danger or misfortune; greatly worried. Yep. Anxious.

Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:5-7 NIV).

To say life can throw you for a loop sometimes is a huge understatement! So many difficult times for so many of my dear friends and family members! I will not share details of any of them, for it is sufficient to say that some in particular have been dealt tragic blows, almost too much to bear.

It is when hardships befall those dearest to me that I find it the most difficult to pray! That seems like an oxymoron, but it's true. And it's true for several reasons. First, I doubt my own power to effect change in God's plan. Then I struggle with what the outcome of my prayers will be and my acceptance of that outcome, regardless of what I prayed for. Will I really be able to thank God for how He chooses to act in the lives of my loved ones?

Also, I don't know what to pray for -- do I ask God for the resolution I want, the one the others want for themselves, or do I truly surrender the outcome of each situation to God's divine plan? I know I really have no choice in the matter! Jesus has told us to pray - not to make a "to do" list for God. He didn't tell us to "help God out" with suggestions - only to pray for His kingdom, for His will.

Of course, the key word in all of this is surrender - I do not like to surrender - at all!! I despise it! I like to be in charge. I want things the way I want them, thank you very much. Of course, very few of us have everything the way we want them in this life. God's promises for perfection don't happen until the next life.

While we're on this earth, though, the Bible assures us, "And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective" (James 5:15-16 NIV).

I'm back to praying like a warrior. I know God will be glad - not because He needs me to bring about His will in the world, but because He wants me to need Him - and only Him. He wants to be all-sufficient, all-consuming. When I direct my prayers to Him, he hears them. When He hears them, He answers.

I am assured that His answer will be the right one - even if it's not what I want and hope for. I listen to the words of "Blessings" by Laura Story every day. If you press play, above, you can listen to her sing this beautiful song. Here are some of the lyrics:

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise

Do not be anxious. Pray. That's it: just pray.

Blessings on your journey,
Mary