We are each designed for a unique and divine purpose. Live yours!

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

A Future Ordained Before Time Began

Some weeks ago, I was once again "reborn" as Christ took away a burden I have borne for over 50 years--that I am not worthy. That pervasive belief that I was unworthy had come to manifest itself as anger in my life. I was angry at everyone and about everything—especially at God—about my life. More than anything though, I was angry at myself for who I had become and how powerless and ineffectual I had come to feel.

What has replaced the anger? I don’t know how to describe it – because I feel so completely different – to my core and in my core – than I have ever felt. Without the weight of my anger, stuffed down and used as both a crown and a fortress for a lifetime, I have been an empty, open receptacle of God’s healing love and light and life.

Now I am prolifically creative! I can’t stop writing poetry! I am putting to paper the words I believe I was born to write--which have been stuffed down, deep in my soul and heart and mind for my entire adult life.

As I shared in my previous post, the Sunday meeting of Richmond Christians Who Write manifested a powerful and mighty presence of the Holy Spirit. Earlier that day our pastor delivered an awe-inspiring sermon that literally took my breath away.

In the past two days I have been unable to sleep! I have been unable to stop smiling. This morning I began a second poem in as many days! This afternoon I fleshed it out and this evening I sent a copy of it off to the RCWW folks. I'm going to include both poems in my poetry book.

I'm on a mountaintop. I know I won't be able to stay here forever, but the view is breathtaking right now and I plan to enjoy it for as long as God allows me to remain here.

As soon as I finish this post I'm going to trim down a 1900 word manuscript to 1500 words so I can enter it in a contest with a rapidly approaching deadline. Then I'm going to finish a blog post that is part of a batch I'm working on. (I've been asked to ghost write several and I don't want to allow too much time to pass before sending off my first set.)

A month ago, I would have bemoaned the fact that I just don't have time for everything in my life! Wait -- I DID bemoan that fact! Now I rejoice that I have so much to do for my Lord and so much in my life that is full to overflowing with family and friends and God's abundant blessings!

My plans are being re-evaluated and deferred in order to be in line with God's plans. There is a peace in that decision. Allowing God to be God and divesting myself of that role has freed me in ways I never even imagined. God is in it. And "it" is everything!

John 16:33 "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

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