My heart broke today. Not for myself. Not even for the three children I care for who are in varying stages of ear/nose/throat and intestinal issues. For some unexplained reason, my heart broke for God. When I realized the feeling that flooded over me I remember actually shaking my head at myself!
First of all, I asked myself how I could even begin to understand how God feels? Well of course I can't but the Spirit gave me a glimpse today. As I said, the three little ones for whom I care have not been feeling well. Between the three of them, someone has thrown up at least every other day for the past two weeks. Now we've moved on to ear infections and runny noses and just general yuckiness.
At one point this morning sister was sprawled on the couch just within my reach so I could rub her back. One of the boys climbed up to sit in my lap in order to be consoled about his general malaise and the other brother decided he wanted some of that action as well! I even commented out loud (to no one in particular) that I really could use an extra arm today so everyone could get enough of what they needed/wanted.
That's when it struck me: God must be really heart-broken sometimes (often?)! I thought for a fleeting moment of all the stories I've heard on the news: what is going on in Gaza, continue to learn of horrible situations in Africa, the financial crisis in America and on and on and on. That's when I thought it. Perhaps this should be posted at Crayon Chronicles, but it's bigger than what the children taught me today.
I thought of how I add to God's distress and sadness sometimes (often!). I realized that my sins increase His burden. My disobedience and outright defiance, cause Him to attend to me and my little life when He has much bigger things to be tending to. Of course I know God is big enough to handle it all. I know He doesn't every say, "Wow, I wish I had some help todayf" or anything like that.
His strength and knowledge and wisdom are beyond imagining! His might is superior and extraordinary compared to anyone or anything in creation. I just felt bad for God today. And I felt a little sad that I contribute, in any way large or small, to his heart-break.
I'm not really going anywhere in particular with this, but I had one of the spirit-filled, spirit-inspired, spirit-connected days and this is one of the experiences I wanted to share. Perhaps you've thought about God's heart before. Maybe we all should more often. We would certainly stop and think before we did and said of lot of things if we first considered how it would impact God's work today, don't you think?
Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. [Psalm 90:12 NIV]
For the LORD is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations. [Psalm 100:5 NIV]