I have been walking around in a state of disappointment for the past couple of weeks.
I had set my mind on a particular event taking place - something I have been wanting for some time. I have realized in the past couple of weeks that while it will come to pass, it definitely will NOT be in my time, according to my plan. I'm especially disappointed because I have been feeling lately that disappointment was becoming a way of life for me! I know it's petty to think this way when there are people all over the world, even in my own country, who are truly in need of even the basics for survival.
Last night I realized that God has prevented this event from happening, because he is (a) protecting me from unforseen (on my part) harm, or (b) setting a path for something even better. I do believe both are the case!
"I will proclaim the name of the Lord. Oh, praise the greatness of our God! He is the Rock, his works are perfect, and all his ways are just. A faithful God who does no wrong, upright and just is he" (Deuteronomy 32:3-4 NIV).
Often, we go to Job to read about long-suffering and loss and disappointment. In the end he was blessed a hundred-fold. Of course, he would have preferred not to lose literally everthing and everyone in his life. But the end of his life was full of wealth and joy and peace--abundant blessings from God.
I, however have always felt so very sorry for Moses! Oh my goodness! To spend his entire adulthood in obedience and service to God, only to be told in the end, you will never receive the one thing in this life you really, truly wanted and have worked so hard for! I have always thought it was just plain unfair! But God is very clear about his expectations of Moses - and also of us. Just image the profound sadness and utter exhaustion Moses must have felt at that moment of realization!
"There on the mountain that you have climbed you will die and be gathered to your people, just as your brother Aaron died on Mount Hor and was gathered to his people. This is because both of you broke faith with me in the presence of the Israelites at the waters of Meribah Kadesh in the Desert of Zin and because you did not uphold my holiness among the Israelites. Therefore, you will see the land only from a distance; you will not enter the land I am giving to the people of Israel" (Deuteronomy 32:50-52 NIV).
How about Abraham? He was willing to give up his own son because God commanded it--a long-awaited, adored, only son. A son who God had promised him would be the father of the future generations. How torn and desolate must he have been in his obedience after waiting so very long for his answered prayer!? But, as Abraham was ready to carry out God's command and kill his son, “Do not lay a hand on the boy,” he said. “Do not do anything to him. Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son.” Abraham looked up and there in a thicket he saw a ram caught by its horns. He went over and took the ram and sacrificed it as a burnt offering instead of his son. So Abraham called that place The Lord Will Provide [Jehovah-jireh]. And to this day it is said, “On the mountain of the Lord it will be provided” (Genesis 22:12-14 NIV).
"Jireh" translates into "Provide" which is a word with Latin roots. Pro means "before" and video means "to see". So it means to see in advance or before the need is known. God is preparing an answer before we know that it is a need.
Thank you good and gracious God, for loving me too much to give me less than your amazing plan for me. Help me be patient -- and grateful -- in the waiting.
Blessings on your journey,