Perseverance

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything" (James 1:3-5 NIV)

 

It has been 36 days since my mom died.  It occurred tome yesterday that new parents often reveal their baby's age in number of days, then weeks, then months and, ultimately, years. The experience is still new, and we can't even imagine anything beyond this day. While having a new baby is joyous (except for lack of sleep!) the adjustment still initially "happens" one day at a time.

 

I guess adjusting to life without a loved one has to move that way too.  Day by day by day, then weeks by week, month by month.  That's how perseverance is learned -- by day, by week, by month, by years. But I don't want to persevere in this! I want my mom back! I don't want to think I'll pick up the phone to dish about something I heard on the news and relish her lively, quick-witted commentary, or tell her about something exciting - like a grandchild's raise or how we finished putting in our vegetable garden, or a host of other things! I won't ever be able to share any momentous occassions or event with her again!

 

Don't get me wrong! We have dear friends who lost their child recently.  I have no doubt that loss is so much more painful and unbelivelably hard to bear and endure! I understand now not only their inconsolable sense of loss - but I grasp in a whole new way, at a whole new level of my being how much courage, strength, and yes, perseverance, it takes for them to just get out of bed each day. I get it and I'm grateful that perseverance isn't finishing its work in me in that way.

 

I'm still at the "day" stage of my perseverance.  I never really understood what these verses meant, "Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." How in the world could the death of my mom - or struggles, challenges, trials of other kinds - help me to be complete? I still feel very incomplete!

 

I think the completness may refer to being more like Christ.  To love more, to be stronger for others who can't be strong on their own, to pray harder, to live each day on purpose. It doesn't mean it will all be okay. It means we will survive. How we end up on the "other side" will be the result of our perseverance.  And we only learn to persevere through hardship. 

 

I'm not considering "it" pure joy yet. But I understand I have no choice but to go on. I'm not happy about it, but we are compelled to be "joyful."  Joy is not the same as happiness.  Joy is possible because I know Mom is in heaven and that I will join her there one day. Joy is possible because of Christ who won Mom and me - and everyone who believes - a place in heaven by His death.

 

"Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us" (Romans 5:3-5 NIV).

Blessings on your journey,
Mary

More Valuable Than Gold

"Such trials show the proven character of your faith, which is much more valuable than gold - gold that is tested by fire, even though it is passing away - and will bring praise and glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed" (1 Peter 1:7 NIV)

Hmm . . .praise and glory and honor. Though in the midst of our trials we get caught up in "it's all about me" mindset, our focus should properly be on God and His great love for us!  Of course, I am speaking not as an example, but as a fellow flawed, imperfect, stumbling, bumbling human being!

In the midst of our trials, we don't usually feel grateful, thinking that this is okay, because the proven character of my faith is being tested!  I think more often we feel abandoned by God, or at least like our needs/ wants/ desires are on His "back burner." We must remember though, that God is, indeed, intimately involved in our world - and in our lives! He wants us to spend eternity with Him in heaven and so allows us to be refined, rehabilitated, renewed and be made as close to perfect as we can possibly achieve. Fortunately, He understands that our perfection will not be realized until we're in Heaven with him!

In the midst of our trials, the Bible tells us to rejoice! In the midst! Be joyful!  Worship God!

"Worship the Lord with gladness; come before him with joyful songs" (Psalm 100:2 NIV).

"yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior" (Habukkuk 3:18 NIV).

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer" (Romans 12:12 NIV).
"[Trials and Temptations] Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds," (James 1:2 NIV).

I don't really like having the character of my faith tested.  In fact I don't like it at all! Sometimes I am just too worn out, physically, emotionally, spiritually to deal with some of the trials life throws at me. I needed God's inspired Word this morning to remind me that God loves me too much to allow me to have an "easy faith"; a faith that is never tested never grows deeper; a faith that is never challenged, never gains strength.

The praise and honor and glory go not to me--but to God and the unparalleled, inexplicable, gracious and unspeakable love God has for us, revealed in His Son on the Cross.

I know you're tired. You may be ready to give up. I know it's hard. You may feel overwhelmed. I know. Remember, the character of our faith is deepening, strengthening and broadening. And our faith is more valuable than gold. Because in the end it is all we have.

Blessings on your journey,

Mary

Sing and Make Music From Your Heart!

“speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ” (Ephesians 5:19-20 NIV)

I can't "carry a tune in a bucket," sadly!  It's very sad, because I love music - really love it tremendously.  I believe music is the "international" language because it speaks to the heart and the soul. No, I can't sing on key to save my life. But those songs from the Spirit . . .  that's another story altogether.

Songs of worship, joy, thanksgiving, though, emanate from my heart every single day of my life.  Yes, even those days when I feel stressed, sad, sorry for myself or my situation at the moment.  I do, indeed, give thanks to God for everything!

Life is hard sometimes. We can feel swallowed up by pain, fear, loss, regret, grief, self-doubt, and yes, even self-pity.  But because of Jesus, we can - and should - rejoice! Even through the dark times . . . even when it's hard . . . even when we don't feel very joyful.  Remember: Jesus died so that we might live forever with Him in heaven.  Today I'm focusing on that truth. And today is all we have, after all, until we get to heaven.

"Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise,  making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil" (Ephesians 5:15-16 NIV).

Blessings on your journey,
Mary

Come Out! Be Free!

"This is what the Lord says: “In the time of my favor I will answer you, and in the day of salvation I will help you; I will keep you and will make you to be a covenant for the people, to restore the land and to reassign its desolate inheritances, to say to the captives, ‘Come out,’ and to those in darkness, ‘Be free!’ “They will feed beside the roads and find pasture on every barren hill. They will neither hunger nor thirst, nor will the desert heat or the sun beat down on them.  He who has compassion on them will guide them and lead them beside springs of water. I will turn all my mountains into roads, and my highways will be raised up. See, they will come from afar—some from the north, some from the west, some from the region of Aswan.”  Shout for joy, you heavens; rejoice, you earth; burst into song, you mountains! For the Lord comforts his people and will have compassion on his afflicted ones" (Isaiah 49:8-13 NIV).

Such incredible imagery in these verses! So much hope is stirred at the promise of rejoicing, comfort, relief, rest, peace.

These last several months of the election cycle have left me so dissillusioned and sad, and sometimes just downright distraught at the state of our country and of the world! Added work load at my job has often left me stressed and worn out. The diagnosis of a serious illness of a close family member has sent me alternatively shaking my fist at the sky and falling prostrate at the foot of the Cross.

While the circumstances in Isaiah are completely different than those of my daily life, the words are not lost on me.  They remind us that God can--and does--provide for us, makes a way for us, cares for us, frees us from our doubt, fear and sin. I don't know how any of these situations will turn out. But I am (and all of us are) assured that God will help us, restore us, free us and have compassion on us.

No, I don't really have any right to complain about anything! So tonight, in spite of the burdens I am bearing, I shout for joy! For the Lord comforts his people and will have compassion on his afflicted ones!

Blessings on your journey,
Mary

Choose joy!

Today I choose joy!

Actually, last night before I went to bed I had decided I would choose joy today.

A dear friend prepared our Christmas meal and invited us to her house - all of us! No clean up for us! We kicked back and relaxed for 4 straight days. No tradition this year -- everything was different. It was odd not to do what we "always do" at Christmas-not a single tradition in place this year!

In the days ahead I'll be sharing the lessons God is teaching me about and through all this -- He's been on overtime with me lately:-) But today, I choose joy!

Christmas is "over", my daughter and son-in-law have returned home and I return to work this morning after 4 wonderful, restful days off. My son and husband return to their respective jobs today as well.

I ate everything in sight and gained back 5 of the 40 lbs. I worked so hard to lose over the past 6 months. Snow has melted and the earth looks brown and is saturated through and through with water. No sunshine today, at least not yet.

Today I choose joy! I'm going to breathe in joy and exhale joy! I am God's beloved and my heart is at peace. This is the last Monday of 2009! Actually, it's the last Monday of the current decade! That reminds me I have a new decade in which to live and learn and grow and experience joy!

Yes, it is a choice! Life is hard. sometimes it's even excruciating and almost unbearable. Sometimes it looks bleak on the horizon ahead. But we must choose joy!

My prayer is that today, you will choose joy!

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" (Philippians 4:4 NIV)

Blessings on your journey,
Mary

I Guess An "Old Dog" Can Learn Some New Tricks!

I know that some of you who know me well will be in utter shock when I tell you this: I actually used html and other computer "stuff" to create a blank journal for sale on the website lulu.com!

For those who don't know me well, the humorous part of this announcement is that I can't even handle using the remote control for the television except for the "on/off" function! We have so many options with cable t.v., etc., that I inevitably hit the wrong button, much to the exasperation of my family!

What is so amazing to me is not only that I was able to produce a product that looks exactly as I envisioned it, create a "storefront"/"website" where people can go to buy it on line and then add links back to the storefront from my website and my blog all by myself, but I did it on a day I was not originally scheduled off. I received a bonus day off and so I used it to accomplish this goal.

Perhaps you don't see God in all of this, but I know He has been at work arranging and rearranging circumstances for me in response to my ardent prayer that He take over all the how's and the when's of everything I believe He wants me to do to spread the Good News. A week ago, I couldn't imagine how I would possibly have time to sleep because it seemed my days would be so full and busy! Finally, on Sunday, I asked God to give me some kind of sign, that I could not mistake or doubt, about whether or not I was on the right track in the goals I have set.

This is part of an email message I received from a friend on Monday morning:

GOD WANTED ME TO TELL YOU, It shall be well with you this coming year. No matter how much your enemies try this year, they will not succeed. You have been destined to make it and you shall surely achieve all your goals this year. For the remainder of 2008 and all of 2009, all your agonies will be diverted and victory and prosperity will be incoming in abundance.
Today God has confirmed the end of your sufferings, sorrows and pain because HE that sits on the throne has remembered you. He has taken away the hardships and given you JOY. He will never let you down. I knocked at heaven's door this morning, God asked me. My child! What can I do for you? And I said, "Father, please protect and bless the person reading this message".

Apparently this prayer began with Mother Theresa and has been circulating for several decades. Needless to say, I have been praying that all it promises is so. I have no doubt that it will be through the power of Christ and the prayers I lift as well as the prayers of my friends and family.

I want you to know that I pray this for each of you every day as well. I wish you JOY in your journey.